Adjustments

I'm back in Ukraine. Alive. Not quite well. But definitely alive.
As I was flying out of Ukraine (literally), my stomach started to get upset and continued with that off and on throughout my stay in the US. Finally, just before Thanksgiving I decided it must be parasites and began taking some herbal stuff for that. Parasites it was. I'm still recuperating, and hoping I got all of the little buggers. Definitely would appreciate prayer for that. My stomach is still upset, but hard to tell if that is from the meds or just still recuperating or what.
Managed to catch a cold on my way back to Ukraine. *rolls eyes But thankfully, other than that, had a good trip and arrived intact with all my luggage in tow. My flying-traveling time was about 17 hours with layovers, but the rest of the trip from Kyiv to Rivne took me about another eight hours by the time I went through immigration and caught a bus to Kyiv and then from Kyiv to Rivne.
Arriving in Rivne, I jumped in a taxi and we took off down the street and I glanced up and there was a red neon sign. My mind said, "Arby's." There is no Arby's in Ukraine. Anywhere. I realized that I had forgotten to mentally prepare myself for my return here. Normally, I take time on the plane over or even before that to begin to prepare myself for whichever country I am traveling to. I think about what it will look like, sound like, smell/stink like, who I will see there, how I will travel there, etc. I didn't do that coming back this trip. I think I was still too caught up in the festivities and trip to visit my sister in VA and was still processing that. So, I arrived back to a little more culture shock than I have been used too. It was a novel, although not totally pleasant experience.
It has left me feeling caught between two worlds. Trying to figure out where I belong. I realize that I was in the States longer this time, so I actually "lived" there, rather than just being "on vacation" there, as I have been the last couple of times. As you know, "living" is a totally different mentality than "vacationing". When you live someplace you buy groceries for living there, you get to know your way around, you meet neighbors and develop a routine. When you "vacation", you buy vacation groceries and take time out to do whatever the heck you feel like doing and don't worry about staying up too late or getting to meet all the people around you. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that I had switched into "living" mentality while I was in the States until I came back here. :-P Consequently, I am still adjusting to the fact that I do in actuality live here.
It is not comfortable, this being caught between two worlds. I am at home to a degree in both of them, but belong to neither. Ukrainians know that I am not Ukrainian and are always looking to know where I am from, which leaves me with a sense of "not fitting in" here. In America, on the other hand, most Americans assume I am Canadian or at least not local because of my accent, but they accept me as being "from" there. Unfortunately, my mind and upbringing are very European, so I mess up with American culture a lot, but don't have the grace that might be given to a foreigner because only I see myself as one. And internally/mentally it is even more confusing for me as I try to navigate now in this world when I was just in that one. It is so easy to adapt to convenience. Things that I don't think about here--like being able to get all your grocery items in one store; I went today to three different stores looking for cream and didn't find it in any of them. We often notice things much more when they are absent, than when they are present. People here dress differently. Sometimes I feel like two different people when I think about how I am in the States vs. here. Here I tend to dress up, partly because of my office work, but partly because that is just the style here. In the States I tend to wear jeans much more. It is amazing how that little thing can affect how you perceive yourself. I feel more confident here, which is probably because I am also more used to living here. But I felt more relaxed in the States.
I'm also trying to slide back into my office life. Started off my week by telling one of our part-time employees that we are running out of work for her (she was asking to come back full-time) and that she would do better looking for another job. Now I'm trying to work something out for an office computer for me (I gave mine up right before I left because of an urgent need and the replacement is not sufficient for what I need to do). Once I get that sorted out, I'll be working hard on Doctrine for which I would GREATLY appreciate your prayers. I'm feeling intimidated by it--justifiably so, if I do say so myself. It is a higher level course and, of course, a very important topic. The part that I specifically need to rewrite are the lessons on predestination and free will. I shake in my boots or socks or whatever I am wearing on my feet! I know that I need to just bite the bullet and start writing, but am having trouble doing so.

Korochi (anyway), I'm doing a lot of adjusting just at the moment. Cultures, family, friends, work, illness, holidays (Happy Thought--Christmas!!). Hopefully, I'll sort out which way is up and which way is down soon. :)

On the upside. My roommate cleaned the apartment before I got home and fixed food. Totally pampered me the day after I got home so that I could just unpack and rest. Then on Sunday we got out the Christmas decorations (translate that to mean "nativities", which I collect), and decorated the apartment. The office was also very happy to have me back and in general I feel very welcomed "home". I'm looking forward to getting together with more friends tomorrow too. Happiness all around!