Today finds me somewhat discouraged. On a couple of counts. First, my friend (and former roommate), Julie, is visiting and she has pretty much been sick for four out of the five days she has been here. :( Which does make me wonder how she feels about being here? I mean, first it was food poisoning (not from me, from L.A.), then migraines. I think she was just sick at the thought of coming here. :P She's only here for two more days, so I would definitely appreciate prayers that she'll feel good for the remainder of her vacation time. :)
For myself, well, apparently having Julie here makes me sick too. Well, not so much sick really as pained. Specifically in my hands and feet. And shoulder. And head. And jaw. But I think that is pretty much it. I think though that the head, jaw and shoulder are at least in part because of the hands and feet. I've thought about cutting them off (because they offend me), but it is difficult to get both hands off. Granted, I do feel that I am at least partly to blame for the pain, but not fully. I seem to be having an arthritis flare up in my hands and feet (oh, and my hips too, forgot about them earlier). I know that I am allergic to coffee (brewed only, the instant stuff--which I prefer--is fine) and artificial sweeteners and have been avoiding those like the plague, but it seems that there are many more triggers for the arthritis, which seems to be some sort of a systemic allergic reaction. My fault at this point is that I took the week off from life (ok, pretended too as much as I could at least, which mostly meant not watching my diet as closely) while Julie was here. Now I seem to be suffering the consequences of that in my hands and feet. I am feeling very discouraged at the moment. My doctor (who is the best I've ever had) isn't holding out a lot of hope at this point either. He keeps trying to find solutions and sources, but basically he has said that some people are built to last a lifetime and other people are made with less high quality products. I belong in the latter camp it seems.
So, I would definitely appreciate your prayers for relief from pain, healing and most of all, strength and grace to be glorifying to God and a witness to Him through these things that He allows. I don't understand, but He knows what is going on, and I do trust Him.
And don't forget to praise that I have such a great doctor--even if he doesn't have all the answers!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
People Gardens
I have been enjoying some walks in the Oregon Gardens. They are beautiful and have plenty of pathways to explore. I am sure there are still a few more for me to venture into yet. I like to go after church (since it is only five minutes from there) and just meander through the gardens.
There are rose gardens and water gardens and vegetable gardens and forest gardens (or perhaps groves would be a better word). Some gardens are new and others are old. Some are meticulously designed and neatly bordered and others are a little more carefree.
There is always something in bloom.
This Sunday when I went there, I was enjoying the varieties of lilies, the lavender and some of the other beautiful flowers which are presently in bloom (and the names of which I will never, ever remember). As I meandered in and out among the gardens and examined the huge variety of flowers I was reminded again of how creative God is. Each flower is unique, even if two are on the same plant. But among them, there are sooo many varieties! And we keep coming up with new shades and shapes. How amazing that God has gifted us with the room to express our creativity by developing His creation in new ways!
As I wandered (and I had the whole place to myself because of a persistent drizzle, which I did not melt in), I was thanking and praising God for His creativity and He turned my mind to people. People are so like flowers. Some are more delicate, some more hardy, each one unique and will respond differently to different circumstances. Most flowers respond very positively to some tender, loving care and so do most people. But that tender-loving care is not the same for each plant (trust me, I've killed plants both by overwatering and underwatering!), and so it is with people too. Each one of us needs care.
Of course, we have the Master Gardener who provides much of that care. But I think sometimes we need to provide that care for each other too. Maybe reach over and gently pull a weed out so that the plant next to us has a little more room to grow. Or perhaps reach our shady leaves over and take the brunt of the sun during a hot spell, so that some of the plants around us can rest a little. Maybe we need to give some of our water to the plants near us, rather than hoarding it all for ourselves.
I don't know, there are so many ways to shed a little kindness on those around us. And a little kindness can go so very far. The memory of that kindness can bring fresh life into a tired plant or help a little plant to grow big enough to fend for itself or care for others.
I wonder what the world would be like if we all went just a wee bit out of our way to brighten someone else's day, to say thank you (meaningfully!), to help out a stranger (or neighbor) in need, or send someone a flower just to know that they are remembered. What kind of sweet smell would we give off to the world around us? What kind of smell do we give off to the world around us?
There are rose gardens and water gardens and vegetable gardens and forest gardens (or perhaps groves would be a better word). Some gardens are new and others are old. Some are meticulously designed and neatly bordered and others are a little more carefree.
There is always something in bloom.
This Sunday when I went there, I was enjoying the varieties of lilies, the lavender and some of the other beautiful flowers which are presently in bloom (and the names of which I will never, ever remember). As I meandered in and out among the gardens and examined the huge variety of flowers I was reminded again of how creative God is. Each flower is unique, even if two are on the same plant. But among them, there are sooo many varieties! And we keep coming up with new shades and shapes. How amazing that God has gifted us with the room to express our creativity by developing His creation in new ways!
As I wandered (and I had the whole place to myself because of a persistent drizzle, which I did not melt in), I was thanking and praising God for His creativity and He turned my mind to people. People are so like flowers. Some are more delicate, some more hardy, each one unique and will respond differently to different circumstances. Most flowers respond very positively to some tender, loving care and so do most people. But that tender-loving care is not the same for each plant (trust me, I've killed plants both by overwatering and underwatering!), and so it is with people too. Each one of us needs care.
Of course, we have the Master Gardener who provides much of that care. But I think sometimes we need to provide that care for each other too. Maybe reach over and gently pull a weed out so that the plant next to us has a little more room to grow. Or perhaps reach our shady leaves over and take the brunt of the sun during a hot spell, so that some of the plants around us can rest a little. Maybe we need to give some of our water to the plants near us, rather than hoarding it all for ourselves.
I don't know, there are so many ways to shed a little kindness on those around us. And a little kindness can go so very far. The memory of that kindness can bring fresh life into a tired plant or help a little plant to grow big enough to fend for itself or care for others.
I wonder what the world would be like if we all went just a wee bit out of our way to brighten someone else's day, to say thank you (meaningfully!), to help out a stranger (or neighbor) in need, or send someone a flower just to know that they are remembered. What kind of sweet smell would we give off to the world around us? What kind of smell do we give off to the world around us?
Friday, July 15, 2011
Whine, whine, whine
You know, everyone here keeps complaining that the weather has been unseasonably cold and rainy this year. It's Oregon. It's about what I expected. :)
Actually, I am grateful. I like warm weather, between 70 and 80 degrees. Anything too much more gets to be a bit much.
Actually, I've been thinking a lot about complaining this week. Well, more about self-pity. We get out of joint so easily, the people who are complaining about the cool weather now, complain about the heat as soon as it warms up. Not that I can talk. I've been really struggling with my health issues lately. The last month has been pretty brutal. Lots of restless nights, lots of pain killers during the days. And the temptation is to cmpare myself to other people who are not in pain every day. To wonder what that is like. And then of course to pity myself because I have to struggle more and work harder to accomplish what I do. I get tired of this life that I live.
Knowing that this was building up in my heart again (it comes periodically) I was praying about it, and about getting my heart attitude right. As it happened I had just finished reading James and was also praying about which book I should start in next (not reading in any order at the moment, although I do sometimes). Job came to mind. And I go tall excited. Was practically dancing around the living room. lol
Now, I know most people don't get excited about Job. But he is my most favorite Bible character. There is just so much to learn from him. And so much comfort to be gained from his namesake book. I think I like Job because he is always a challenge to me, something to live up to. To strive towards. This is a man that God boasted about. Yet we hear him cursing the day of his birth and expressing the anguish of his soul very...well, very clearly. He definitely didn't hold back.
Some people try to point out that while yes, Job suffered, God blessed him twofold at the end. But you know, that wasn't a promise that Job had to cling to. Job had no explanation for his suffering. He had no reason that he could discern. And he had no promise of an end for it or of anything good to come from it. All he knew was that God had suddenly turned on him. He had ripped away his wealth and with it his status. On top of that his beloved children were taken from him and here he was a parent who had to bury ten children, all at once. Most parents feel robbed if even one of their children dies before they do. They feel it is unfair, wrong, a mistake in the natural order of things. Then Job's wife deserts him spiritually and emotionally. So wrapped up in her own sorrow and grief that she can not even help her husband when he is overtaken by severe and painful illness. And of course, Job's friends. Lovely people. Sympathetic. Kind-hearted, faithful. Really the type of people who believe the best about you. :|
Job had to go through all of this without rhyme or reason. No explanations. No hopeful promises like Abraham had. And half way through, God is still boasting about him. And at the end, we see that Job has remained faithful and pure. Truly a man of integrity and virtue. And faith.
Despite Job's anguished cries that he should not have been born, despite his questioning what he had done to so inspire the wrath of God, he is not self-pitying. He doesn't sit on his ash heap and say, "Poor me, nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I have the hardest life ever. Nobody can understand my pain. Nobody else has ever suffered like me. I'm going to lay here and moan and groan until someone comes to comfort me." He did sit on his ash heap. It was as close as he could come to a hospital bed. Boils are extremely painful, even just having one is excruciating (I understand, haven't had any myself, but friends have), so being covered in them from head to foot, well, I wouldn't expect him to be living his normal life. But even there, I don't get the idea that he was pitying himself and seeking attention from others. "Comfort" (really just attention usually, we want someone to listen to us whine and agree and tell us how hard our lives really are). I don't get the idea that he was bright and cheery and just trying to put on a brave face, either. He was honest. He was in pain, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And it was evident. His friends didn't speak to him for a whole week out of respect for his anguish (although when they did they were pretty...well, what's a friend for if you can't kick them when they are down?). But in all of this, Job keeps his faith in God. His heart is set on God. He doesn't understand. He hurts terribly. He knows that God has the power to change his circumstances, that He could have prevented them even! But still his heart can not leave God's.
In the prologue it says twice that Job did not sin in what he said. And in the epilogue it shows God chastising Job's friends for what they said about Him (God, not Job), but standing up for Job.
Job is my hero. How can I pity myself or complain or whine when I see this man who suffered so very terribly, yet was truly and purely faithful to God? Would that I could be that glorifying to God.
Actually, I am grateful. I like warm weather, between 70 and 80 degrees. Anything too much more gets to be a bit much.
Actually, I've been thinking a lot about complaining this week. Well, more about self-pity. We get out of joint so easily, the people who are complaining about the cool weather now, complain about the heat as soon as it warms up. Not that I can talk. I've been really struggling with my health issues lately. The last month has been pretty brutal. Lots of restless nights, lots of pain killers during the days. And the temptation is to cmpare myself to other people who are not in pain every day. To wonder what that is like. And then of course to pity myself because I have to struggle more and work harder to accomplish what I do. I get tired of this life that I live.
Knowing that this was building up in my heart again (it comes periodically) I was praying about it, and about getting my heart attitude right. As it happened I had just finished reading James and was also praying about which book I should start in next (not reading in any order at the moment, although I do sometimes). Job came to mind. And I go tall excited. Was practically dancing around the living room. lol
Now, I know most people don't get excited about Job. But he is my most favorite Bible character. There is just so much to learn from him. And so much comfort to be gained from his namesake book. I think I like Job because he is always a challenge to me, something to live up to. To strive towards. This is a man that God boasted about. Yet we hear him cursing the day of his birth and expressing the anguish of his soul very...well, very clearly. He definitely didn't hold back.
Some people try to point out that while yes, Job suffered, God blessed him twofold at the end. But you know, that wasn't a promise that Job had to cling to. Job had no explanation for his suffering. He had no reason that he could discern. And he had no promise of an end for it or of anything good to come from it. All he knew was that God had suddenly turned on him. He had ripped away his wealth and with it his status. On top of that his beloved children were taken from him and here he was a parent who had to bury ten children, all at once. Most parents feel robbed if even one of their children dies before they do. They feel it is unfair, wrong, a mistake in the natural order of things. Then Job's wife deserts him spiritually and emotionally. So wrapped up in her own sorrow and grief that she can not even help her husband when he is overtaken by severe and painful illness. And of course, Job's friends. Lovely people. Sympathetic. Kind-hearted, faithful. Really the type of people who believe the best about you. :|
Job had to go through all of this without rhyme or reason. No explanations. No hopeful promises like Abraham had. And half way through, God is still boasting about him. And at the end, we see that Job has remained faithful and pure. Truly a man of integrity and virtue. And faith.
Despite Job's anguished cries that he should not have been born, despite his questioning what he had done to so inspire the wrath of God, he is not self-pitying. He doesn't sit on his ash heap and say, "Poor me, nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I have the hardest life ever. Nobody can understand my pain. Nobody else has ever suffered like me. I'm going to lay here and moan and groan until someone comes to comfort me." He did sit on his ash heap. It was as close as he could come to a hospital bed. Boils are extremely painful, even just having one is excruciating (I understand, haven't had any myself, but friends have), so being covered in them from head to foot, well, I wouldn't expect him to be living his normal life. But even there, I don't get the idea that he was pitying himself and seeking attention from others. "Comfort" (really just attention usually, we want someone to listen to us whine and agree and tell us how hard our lives really are). I don't get the idea that he was bright and cheery and just trying to put on a brave face, either. He was honest. He was in pain, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And it was evident. His friends didn't speak to him for a whole week out of respect for his anguish (although when they did they were pretty...well, what's a friend for if you can't kick them when they are down?). But in all of this, Job keeps his faith in God. His heart is set on God. He doesn't understand. He hurts terribly. He knows that God has the power to change his circumstances, that He could have prevented them even! But still his heart can not leave God's.
In the prologue it says twice that Job did not sin in what he said. And in the epilogue it shows God chastising Job's friends for what they said about Him (God, not Job), but standing up for Job.
Job is my hero. How can I pity myself or complain or whine when I see this man who suffered so very terribly, yet was truly and purely faithful to God? Would that I could be that glorifying to God.
Friday, July 8, 2011
4th of July!
Well, actually 2nd of July, but it was for the 4th!
We did the booth up a little for Independence
Day. It was fun. :)
I do wish that American holidays lasted a little after the fact, but it was at least fun to get a little celebrating in beforehand. I made up flag cookies and some red, white and blue tarts (cream cheese filling, blueberries and raspberries) and then pretty much we just put things in 4th of July wrappers.
I have to say, it was fun to be in America for July 4th. I got to see two different firework displays and watch my nieces in a parade (Ziva looked a little tired by the time she got to the end, but Vienna was going strong!).
We're slowly making some other little improvements on the bakery. Hopefully soon we'll have aprons with the logo on. I'm also working on some more "summery" products (I'm thinking lemon bars? and more berry tarts) as in the hot weather people don't seem as inclined to go for the more decadent things.
I also got some ingredient bins and more shelving at home (I know, a real thriller, but for me it is--I don't deal well with untidyness).
Anya's also been helping me at home this week a little with some of the prep work which is a huge blessing. I've had a lot more pain recently so I am moving very slowly and having an extra pair of hands really makes a huge difference! It's taken a lot of the stress out of this week.
Next week will be extra busy as we were asked to do the Monday market (at the local hospital) as well. Monday is usually a big prep day for me, so we'll see how that all goes. :) It means we'll have markets Monday, Wednesday and Saturday next week. We'll appreciate your prayers for that as I am sure it will be a tiring week! (but exciting too!)
We did the booth up a little for Independence
Day. It was fun. :)I do wish that American holidays lasted a little after the fact, but it was at least fun to get a little celebrating in beforehand. I made up flag cookies and some red, white and blue tarts (cream cheese filling, blueberries and raspberries) and then pretty much we just put things in 4th of July wrappers.
I have to say, it was fun to be in America for July 4th. I got to see two different firework displays and watch my nieces in a parade (Ziva looked a little tired by the time she got to the end, but Vienna was going strong!).
We're slowly making some other little improvements on the bakery. Hopefully soon we'll have aprons with the logo on. I'm also working on some more "summery" products (I'm thinking lemon bars? and more berry tarts) as in the hot weather people don't seem as inclined to go for the more decadent things.
I also got some ingredient bins and more shelving at home (I know, a real thriller, but for me it is--I don't deal well with untidyness).
Anya's also been helping me at home this week a little with some of the prep work which is a huge blessing. I've had a lot more pain recently so I am moving very slowly and having an extra pair of hands really makes a huge difference! It's taken a lot of the stress out of this week.
Next week will be extra busy as we were asked to do the Monday market (at the local hospital) as well. Monday is usually a big prep day for me, so we'll see how that all goes. :) It means we'll have markets Monday, Wednesday and Saturday next week. We'll appreciate your prayers for that as I am sure it will be a tiring week! (but exciting too!)
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