Goodness, it's been a while since I was here (yes, I've always been good at stating the self-evident).
Life has happened. And it is GOOD. There is so much to catch you up on! My life has done a 180 in the last eight months. I'm married, pregnant, and no longer working outside the home. I will say that the pregnancy is part of the reason that I haven't blogged for so long, but really there are other reasons, like not editing anymore--I'm just not on my computer as much. And we didn't have internet at home the first few months of married life, so that affected things too.
I am well aware that my life and choices are far from conventional, but they have proven wonderful for me! Of course, at the moment I am also basking in the pregnancy glow, so everything just seems more wonderful in general, but I don't think that is the only reason. It just makes me more emotional about it.
I feel like I have waited for so many years for these things and now in one year's time I have gone from single with no expectations in this direction to married with a little one on the way. A year ago I wouldn't have believed that this could have happened. But God is always a worker of miracles and here I am.
I'm not saying life is all perfect all of a sudden because I am married and pregnant. There are still things I struggle with. I do miss being closer to family. I wouldn't mind having a little more income. Or being closer to some of my friends. Having a little more energy. Having a better house to live in (this one is in renovations, but it is just not well insulated--hot in summer, cold in winter). And today in particular I am wishing my mouth would heal more quickly after getting a molar pulled.
But then I come back to something that Ken and I talked about before we were married and frequently talk about now too: Contentment is a choice. So is happiness.
It is about where we choose to put our focus: on the positive or the negative. It is generally easier to focus on the negative (and it's more dramatic and people give us more attention generally). It just takes less effort to see the dirt on the ground than it does to lift our eyes to the beauty of the sky.
For me, on the days when it is hard to be content or happy in the moment there are two things I remember: 1. There is always at least one thing to be thankful for! (and generally a lot more than that) 2. There is always someone who has it tougher than me.
And the other way that I pull up my bootstraps is to do something nice for someone else. Make a nice dinner. Bake cookies. Chase down their dog. Write a letter. Make a phone call. Most things aren't too difficult and don't have to be dramatic, but that setting aside of myself makes all the difference! And suddenly I have done something productive and kind and my day gets a little more sunlight in it.
Right now, during this time of basking in the glow of being newly married and pregnant and all that I don't generally "feel the need" to pull myself up by my bootstraps, but even so, focusing on the positive and choosing contentment is still important. After all, if I develop the good habits while it is relatively easy to do so, won't it be easier to keep them when things get tough?
