Conclusion(s)

My Russian course concluded yesterday. I was sorry to see it end. I have sooo much to learn. I feel lilke I could study for another two months before really grasping some of the grammar. But hopefully I'll at least tune into people using correct grammar now and be able to mimic it. I know that I will understand a lot of nuances of language better. I would like to continue studying on my own in the fall, but we'll see if I am able to do that amidst my other responsibilities.
My personal conclusion when I came to the end of the course was that I have a great accent, but such positively aweful grammar that I'm surprised people can understand me at all. It was rather depressing actually. I feel like I have this huge mountain before me, and I can't climb it, I have to move it shovel-full by shovel-full because otherwise I won't really ever learn to speak well.
I hope I retain the half of what I "learned" in this course. Thankfully, we do have a really good workbook, so if I am able to study on my own that will help me along the way.
I'm curious to see why God has suddenly given me this interest in learning Russian. For all the years I've been here I have never had a great interest in studying the language. It's always been a means to an end, not something that was valuable in and of itself. Then, sometime last fall, or early winter I began thinking about studying Russian, but couldn't see how it would be possible given my work schedule and energy levels. But God provided this intensive course which fit so well into my schedule. Such a blessing!
Actually, just writing about that has cheered me up. If God has brought me this far then certainly He will bring me to the conclusion that He desires for me with Russian. I would, personally, love to learn to speak really fluently. To give each word the nuance of meaning that I precisely want it to have. But, perhaps that isn't what God has. We'll see. I'm sure He'll make possible what He wants me to do.