Paying the Bills

I've been reading a book by an American about living in Russia. It's just a humourous look at some of the idiosyncrasies of life here in this part of the world. Reminded me of how certain things, like paying the bills, are considerably different here than in the West.

In the States, when I had a bill to pay, I typically dug out my checkbook, made out the check and sent it off. Usually with a premade form filled out with all the pertinent information and often in a pre-adressed envelope which I only had to affix a stamp to.
That's not what happens here. Every hozayin (the responsible person in the household--typically the owner, but in my case me, as the renter in charge of paying the bills and all other household maintenance) has a set of books that have to be filled out on a regular basis, taken to the bank and examined by the teller who then enters your information on the comptuer, tallies it all up and gives you the grand total. You then pay her, she prints out the receipts, stamps them to show that they are official and gives them to you. You take them home, cut them apart and paste them into your booklets to show that you have indeed paid for your bills.
Now that all seems relatively simple. But we all know that real life just isn't that simple. Here's a pictures of the books that I have to fill out. I have one for electricity, one for gas (for the stove), one for water, and one for heat and hot water (I have to pay extra for the heating of the water). Oh, and of course, there is also the telephone bill which is separate and doesn't have a book. You just have to remember to tell them your number when you go in and pay or your phone will be cut off on the 20th of the month! (speaking of which, I need to take care of that!)
As an example, lets take the heat and hot water bills. These ones are extra fun because I have to go to the accountant of our building to find out what I owe on a monthly basis for my heat. She's at the buiding office on Monday or Thursday evenings from 6:30-8:00, generally. Once I get the correct amount from her I fill it in in my book. With each book I also have to fill in the landlord's name and apartment address (all in Russian, of course, and if you think my English handwriting is lousy...!). For the hot water bill I read my hot water meters and figure out how many cubic meters of water I have used in the past month, enter that in the little booklet then multiply that by the latest charge for hot water. To find out what the latest charge is I just have to run down to the building door and see what has been glued up. After I've entered in the right figures I just tally it up and write it in the right boxes. Now, all of these booklets have to be filled out in duplicate form, so taht there is one for the bank to keep as record of your payment and one for you to keep as record of your payment.
Having correctly (hopefully) filled out my four little booklets I choose an afternoon and trundle down to the bank at the end of my street. Generally there are not less than six people in line when I get there, and often 10 or 12. At an average of five minutes per person I have an easy half hour to an hour of waiting in line. When I finally get to the front of the line and pass my booklets (opened to the up-to-date page) through the window to the teller, I can generally expect to be yelled at. In my case, I am usually yelled at for not speaking loud enough (even though I am raising my voice and bending down to speak through the little hole)--in reality it is just that they don't understand my accent. Naturally, my inclination is not to speak up because I don't want the whole world to know that I am a foreignor, but after two years of fighting this I am gradually coming to the realization that that is a hopeless dream.
After sorting everything out with the teller and clarifying that I do indeed want my phone bill paid, I hand over my cash and she hands me back my receipts and change. Then I go home, cut my receipts apart (they are always printed on one very long paper) and staple them into my book to prove that I have actually paid my bills. Usually the teller also stamps my copy of the form in my booklet, but you gotta include the receipt just in case there is any question in the future. Being a practical foreignor, I find it much easier to staple my receipts into the book, but we all know that that is almost sinning since normal people glue their receipts in because a stapled in receipt could still be ripped out.
I've taken to paying my bills every other month when I can (except that dratted phone bill, but sometimes mum pays it for me when she pays hers) because it is such a thrill....